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August 26, 2004

If I Can't Smurf for My Porn, I'm Going to Take a Nap.

This is a load of crap.

And just as a curiousity, the title is derived from this.

Also see this.

You cannot stop me from doing something that is simply possible on the network - it is there, it is available, so it is fair game so long as I affect no one else in the process. If you can find a way to secure your network to stop me doing certain things, all power to you - well actually no, wait a minute, unless it's a serious security breach that will affect others, you can bite my shiny metal ass.

As long as the work gets done, what the hell business is it of yours what I do while I'm getting there? If I'm not doing my job properly, you can avail yourself to the channels in place to have me disciplined/fired. What I do doing company time, goofing off included, is none of your god-damn business, as long as at the end of the day the work is done.

I don't even claim that there's any positive work aspect to porn (hence people in some places having porn accounts signed up for them) - it's simply none of their business. What exactly is a misuse of "company" property anyway? You're given a tool, and you use it to accomplish a task - but unless you want to at least partially break the tool, and waste your own expenditure, whatever else that tool can be used for, it should be used for. If I want to shove a staple remover up my ass to get me off, why not? No harm is done to others.

If I use the company car to ferry grapes, that was otherwise scheduled to be used by some other freak, then okay - but it is the incident of misuse, not the principle. If there are limited resources, fine, you can say that when there is excess demand, that users curb behaviour that would otherwise infringe on the resources of others, that's sensible. If I use excess capacity on the network at night to play online games and download pr0n, warez, gamez, mp3z, whose resources am I taking away from? If there is talk of legal liability, it is the end user who might be the subject of a sanctimonious and contrary government directive, the network itself is dumb and innocent - or it should be.

The only issue is an (at best) idiotic moral one - or a matter of PR. So you find out that a government agency is rife with porn surfers, so what? Government has no right to monitor the actions of individuals, much less people under their employ, unless there is a significant suspicion of wrongdoing that is to the detriment of others. Legality and government action is not to act as a censorious moral unity - it is there to prevent harm to others, or to help those that require help: if they can't find help elsewhere.

Not that PR is a bad thing in the way morals are, at least PR is honest. People are not normally like this, but in our company/government, we uphold a higher standard of professionalism. So if you accidentally e-mail your client pictures of you eating messily or dressing like a tramp in a sex-game with your partner, the company might castigate you for the slatternly manner of your portrayed deportment or bearing - would you that it were otherwise?

Sometimes how you get there is none of your fucking business. If you cut corners and endanger others or profits by doing so, that's an issue, not when you simply do things in a way other people have an irrational dislike for.

So they discover this about your company - are you so taken with your corporate ethos and identity, by even your national/religious rectitude that you fail to recognise that individuals are people too? Can you no longer differentiate your image of professional ability, which you rightly demand from your emplyees, from their entitlement of rights and opinions and desires?

Posted by subtitles at August 26, 2004 11:23 AM | Personal