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March 26, 2005

"the office" - absolutely gut-wrenchingly motherfuckingly assholerippingly bitchfacedly awful

Again I'm surprised that I never wrote about it when I first watched it, but there you go. I'm sitting here, watching what I didn't finish watching of this cycle of Sports Night, and it occurs to me I've never told you how absolutely gut-wrenchingly motherfuckingly assholerippingly bitchfacedly awful The Office is. And just to be clear, I don't mean that the American version is bad while I would gladly give the UK version head. I'd rather be raised by my left testicle up a flagpole while imagining that over-enunciating anti-biotics is clever.

Anyone who lauds any or either is going to have me mocking them to their face like the cockmunching intellectual midgets that they are. If I'm not wrong I might have written about how the opening titles alone of 6 feet under can make me want to stab myself - and so the title song of the office makes me want to turn green wearing pants.

American comedy is often deeply and endlessly flawed - SNL in particular epitomises all that is wrong with american comedy, and after watching Mean Girls, I think Tina Fey should be shot - slowly. All this is nothing to the fact that american comedy presumes to itself that it can transpose comedy. But when you compound that sick fancy with the inability to discern what is absolutely gut-wrenchingly motherfuckingly assholerippingly bitchfacedly awful, you get a glimpse into why there are times when you think american comedy should be left on an island with a gun containing only one bullet.

It's an awful show. Why would I want to watch something that even in the original was offensive, pathetic, masturbatingly contrived, and - wait for it - about as vaguely amusing as a poke in the eye. Watching it made me want to hit things. Honestly, to the people I know who admit watching it to me - I will fuck you up.

Posted by subtitles at March 26, 2005 5:12 PM | Television

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